Parenting Discipline: Why do Children Misbehave?
As a parent you probably already know that children act out and misbehave badly for a reason. Our job as a parent is to teach the child how to modify their behavior so that they know how to conduct themselves in an appropriate fashion to fit that situation. The best way to prevent a child from misbehaving is to teach the child how to control the behavior or situation that made them want to misbehave in the first place. It is easier said than done as you can imagine.
As a parent, you do what you can to structure the child’s environment as much as you humanly can. You teach them daily the rules that you want them to follow. You reward them when they perform well, and show them how to improve to make it better. Feeding themselves, potty training, learning to cross the street, and so many other examples can be given.
You also provide them with so many interesting things to do and toys with which to play to make their time more fun and interesting and keep them occupied with opportunities to learn. Misbehaving is a part of childhood development. It is a human trait to show our independence and challenge our parents to test our limits. It is just a part of the development of a child.
Here are some of the reasons why children do not behave according to their parents teachings and wishes:
1. Boredom–Too much time when they do not know what to do with themselves can cause children to be bored. This can apply to children of many different ages.
2. Physical Needs that need attending. If a child becomes hungry, tired, or sometimes sick, they try to get your attention hoping that you can make them better. They may not even know why they feel uncomfortable or frustrated.
3. Uncomfortable Environment–Have you ever taken a small child shopping or to a restaurant. Certain environments make a feel child uneasy and uncomfortable. They are not secure in what they must do when they are out in public. It is not like being at home.
4. Rules that are unclear–Consistency is very important when enforcing rules. Are you consistent with your rules or do you constantly change them? Have you made it clear to the child what behavior is expected of them? Have you communicated well what you expect them to do?
5. Expectations that are out-of-sync with their age or maturity–Have you given rules to your child that do not correspond or take into account their age and experience? Could they be too young or too old for them?
6. Emotional Needs that have not been met–Is your child begging for your attention? Are his feelings considered and respected? Are the adults around the child providing enough structure and guidance? Does the child have feelings of inadequacy?
7. Situations that are are not noticed–Your child reacts to a situation in which he finds himself. Did he lash out at another child that was acting aggressive towards him or even hitting him?
8. Family Dynamics–The child begins to mimic the behaviors that he sees around him at home–siblings fighting or even parents yelling at each other.
9. Temperament or mood swings–Personality traits that influence his behavior–meekness, shyness, aggressiveness, etc.
When your child begins to demonstrate poor behavior, do you ask yourself what has caused it? Keep in mind that you should not jump to conclusions or overreact until you have taken the time to learn the facts and study the situation.
Do not jump too quickly into scolding or punishing until you address the issue first and take the time to cool down and become more controlled. Some of the rebellion that you witness in children is a natural part of their development. Be sure you understand the reasons behind what they are doing and teach them what they should be doing instead. They may not really be misbehaving; they may have misunderstood what was expected of them. It is also possible that they just made a mistake and began acting like any child would in such a situation. That is the reason that it is so important to take the time and assess what really happened and what is occurring before you render any discipline.
Always strive to be fair when you discipline and make sure that you make it clear what actions were desired and what they did wrong. When you are firm and loving, you are not being a cruel parent merely a conscientious one. Discipline is an important part of parenting and teaching your child appropriate behavior comes with the job. That is how you go about teaching them right from wrong.
